


Echoes

by Kaishiru



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Dreams, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, M/M, Male Homosexuality, One Shot, Past Character Death, Post-Loss, Romance, Sadness, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-10 18:36:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7856560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaishiru/pseuds/Kaishiru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's gone... He's gone... The last thing connecting him to the human world was taken from him. All that is left are painful memories of the past.<br/><strong>[Set after a particular event of the Tokyo Ghoul Root A anime episode 12.]</strong></p>
            </blockquote>





	Echoes

**Author's Note:**

> **Author's Note:** I wasn't feeling well recently so I binged watched Tokyo Ghoul Root A and I'm suffering... ;3; So what else than write something for it but with a slight twist.
> 
> I have not gotten to the Owl Suppression part in the manga. As I said, I watched Root A. Currently I am on chapter 86 of the Tokyo Ghoul manga. ~~Seriously, no spoilers in the comments.~~ So the anime diverts from when Kaneki was carrying Hide throughthe 20th ward. From then, Uta encounters him. Canon divergence is tagged for a reason... (๑و•̀ω•́)
> 
> Two pairings are tagged but UtaKane is endgame. (I ship both UtaKane and HideKane so don't lynch me.)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy the angst~ ( • ̀ω•́ ) (it is 5 am and I have not slept hhhhh)

“Oi, Kaneki!”

A firm poke to his forehead from his blond best friend brought the half ghoul to reality as they sat in the coffee shop near the far corner. The other patrons human and ghoul alike were chattering amongst themselves while enjoying their coffee. Nishio was bickering with Touka again about something trivial maybe. Kaneki felt bad it was his day off since they probably needed him to work on such a busy day. However, he had to admit it was nice. He enjoyed the coffee, the atmosphere, just peaceful days he won’t have to worry about any of his troubles.

“Sorry, Hide. What were you saying about the comic you read recently?”

Hide delved into the new comic he was reading with interest in his large brown eyes. Something about mystery with a tinge of action. While Kaneki wasn’t particularly interested in comics, he still listened to Hide talk with heightened enthusiasm what it was about. Kaneki smiled earnestly as he listened to his best friend while drinking his coffee. Hide was always such a positive influence on his life and Kaneki didn’t know where he would be if he hadn't met him. Kaneki was grateful for Hide coming in and brightening his life. He loved him. Hide was everything to him…

The scenery around him suddenly changed from the warm, happy atmosphere to something he was familiar with and didn't want to remember. Through his blurred vision was fire surrounding him and Hide who was breathing his last breath. It hurt so much. The pain became unbearable when he saw Hide smile at him for the last time. His tears fell from his eyes and onto Hide's cheek. He almost wished the flames would swallow them both as the coffee shop burned on. It would be better for those flames to take him along with it.

A shuddering breath came out as his tears continued to fall. “Hide…”

…

A gasp left his lips as grey eyes shot open, his heart hammering hard against his rib cage. After lying there, staring at the dark ceiling for a few minutes, Kaneki realized he was in Uta’s bed. The same place he has inherently decided to stay in for the last week. The pain of losing his best friend was too much for the half ghoul. He hadn’t ate any meat or even drank coffee. Why should he? At this point, Kaneki believed he shouldn’t live. He felt like he no longer deserved to. 

Kaneki told Uta this as he broke down after eight days of lying in the same position, not moving at all, his eyes were blank. It was heartbreaking for the tattoo maker to watch as he tried to get Kaneki to eat or at least walk around. The prospect of Kaneki dying does not sit well with him. It _terrified_ him to the core. Sure it was selfish, but Uta knew he could not let that happen. Not when he brought his severely wounded lover back to his shop after ducking and dodging all the Doves lurking around. When he managed to keep him from dying from the Quinque wounds he suffered by feeding him part of his own flesh. Or just yesterday when he spent hours persuading Kaneki to eat. Unfortunately it didn’t work.

Little did Uta know, Kaneki didn’t wish to eat anymore…

Uta woke up as soon as he felt Kaneki turn onto his side, away from him in the bed. He knew his lover had dreamt of Hide again when he noticed Kaneki’s shoulders quivering. Soft weeping could be heard and Uta moved to wrap his arms around Kaneki in a attempt to comfort him, to let his lover know he is here. He didn’t know what he could say that would help Kaneki deal with his grief. Well, he wasn’t sure if there was anything he could say.

During a great majority of his life, Uta has never been with anyone long enough to consider them among those he cares for. Only Itori and Renji have become that way to him somewhat during his teen years. And definitely out of all the people he has fooled around with, Kaneki is the first one who he genuinely loved and actually can see himself being with as long as possible. They had been together for nearly seven months and despite not saying it to each other out loud yet, Uta loved Kaneki. It was more than general fondness for him he felt. Those feelings paled in comparison to the happiness, pride, adoration, and desire he felt for the younger ghoul. He wished to make Kaneki happy.

But first, he needed to help his lover deal with his recent loss. He gently coaxed Kaneki to face him and felt the younger ghoul press his face into his chest. Fresh tears fell onto him, his dark grey shirt soaking them up. The sobs became a little louder then and Uta wondered if he should try to get Kaneki to talk to him. It would end in another sobbing fit until he fell asleep but it was pretty much better than nothing.

"Kaneki-kun,” Uta began, smoothing out the white hair of his lover. “I know he was close to you. Hi—your friend. He was special to you, right?”

He felt Kaneki nod. Good thing Uta didn’t have the notion to dig the body of Hide up and eat it. Besides, he wouldn’t do such a thing anyway. That would have made things real sour between him and Kaneki.

“Can you tell me what he is to you?” Well, what he was to him.

_‘Maybe talking about him might help.’_

It was silent in between them for a few moments before Kaneki finally spoke. His voice was quiet but Uta was able to understand.

“…my best friend,” Kaneki murmured against Uta’s chest, not able to bring himself to look up at the man.

Ah. Besides him, this must be the person Kaneki cared for the most. Of course it was. That human his lover used to know was likely the most special person in his life even after he had became a ghoul. Before all the shit went down with the CCG making the streets of Tokyo run red, Kaneki talked endlessly about Hide to him and Uta listened with interest as he delved into story after story of Hide’s antics and all around shining personality. Even before his time in the 11th ward with Jason, Uta didn’t miss the way Kaneki’s voice brightened considerably when he talked about Hide. It made Uta wonder if Kaneki was in love with his childhood friend. At the time, Kaneki just said it was a small crush and assured Uta he was the one he loved.

Right now, it seemed like those feelings are more than what Kaneki had mentioned. Feelings can change. Maybe Kaneki loved his best friend more than the waking world. As much as he loved Uta. Oddly, Uta was okay with that. He wanted Kaneki to have something outside of the bloody and chaotic world of a ghoul he can cherish. Something Uta was sure he can never provide. It made him happy to see Kaneki happy about the human he held dear.

Now Kaneki doesn’t have is dearest human anymore.

“Hide…” Uta heard Kaneki weep in a voice that tore at his heart painfully.

That sinking feeling one gets when they are in distress occurs in his stomach and sinks lower. He didn’t like seeing his beloved ghoul like this. So broken, left without any hope in this world. Anteiku is gone. Lives of friends were lost. And the one person who may have accepted him as a ghoul is gone from his life forever. There wasn’t any place Kaneki could call home after that.

Of course Uta had seen Kaneki depressed before but never like this. Not of this magnitude. If he left Kaneki now, surely he would let himself die or go mad from starvation. Uta knew he would not let any of those happen to Kaneki no matter what. And he would never leave Kaneki. That was a promise.

“…I loved him.” Kaneki murmured in between his quiet sobs, his face buried in Uta’s shirt. His voice was nearly inaudible but, Uta still heard him. “It…it didn’t matter if his feelings for me were different. I just wanted to be near him…”

Uta knew this.

“He knew about me being a ghoul the whole time.”

 _Oh._ Uta definitely didn’t know about this. He went rigid at this new information.

Usually if a human knew about someone being a ghoul, they would have to turn them in to the CCG immediately or be prosecuted for withholding information. Kaneki could have been turned in and probably killed. Uta tries to shake away the thought. How did his lover’s friend know? Did Kaneki tell him? No, Kaneki was smart. He knew better than to tell someone he is a ghoul. Even if he knew and trusted that person. And from the look of the uniform Hide was wearing, Uta assumed he was working for the CCG. Red flags went off in his head then. But from Kaneki’s reaction when Uta encountered him that night, he figured Hide must have been working for them just to find out information on Kaneki’s whereabouts so they can go home together.

Obviously that plan went south. Maybe another ghoul or some human severely wounded Kaneki’s best friend because he was with a well known ghoul. Whoever did it is long gone by now. And all Uta has is a severely emotionally broken Kaneki. There was probably no way his lover would come back from this.

However, Uta is willing to try and help Kaneki through his grief.

“Kaneki-kun…” He began but stopped short. Shit, what could he say to him? He was sorry? That was overused and it would only make his lover feel worse than he already does. And saying something on the line of “my condolences” is just as bad.

Hearing Kaneki weep once more, Uta held him closer to himself. “I’m here, Kaneki-kun.”

It was all he could say. To let Kaneki know he isn't alone. That he has a place he can return to and call home. It isn’t the best but it is all Uta can offer him. To the one he loves the most. His words seemed to have an effect when Kaneki’s crying quieted some and his slender arms wrapped loosely around his torso, silently thanking him.

“I’m here.”


End file.
